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Who do you respect the most?
Myself. If it’s other than myself, it would be my mom. If it’s amongst all people, I still respect myself the most. I’m righteous, benevolent, truthful, a good person with a good character. Out of the people I know, I respect myself the most. What do you like the most about yourself? Under whatever circumstances, I never give up, I’m benevolent, righteous. I would not do something that will harm others. That is the preliminary criteria for being human: it is not to think of oneself first. This is very important, it needs to be written down. Under what circumstances should you overlook your principles? That is when your righteousness might inflict harm on somebody else, then you need to compromise. I can never lie, but I can choose to be silent. This is the compromise, it’s not betrayal. Certain principles cannot be unfollowed. (But) really, what do I like about myself? The most useless part (of me). It is not certain qualities of my person out of which you can get anything. Now at this stage of life I am probably more confident. Now I want to read useless books, do some useless things -- things that do not make any money, read some books with leisure, have some conversations at leisure. [I've learnt to] find and realise the good out of something unpleasant. I quite like that I never give up. I may stop doing something. But at the bottom of my heart the most important thing is that I never give up. I think not being selfish and being kind is very important . Thinking this way I feel I have a lot of lovely sides. I feel I am really loveable! What kind of people do you dislike the most? I especially despise those who belittle or look down on other people. The worse a person is, the mors you can learn from them. Bringing up a person is like planting trees. Cut away the random little branches & you’ll become a good person. Everyone has different talents, everyone has their faults. Just like allowing trees to become useful as timbre, all the little branches that need to be cut away are a result of selfishness. The further the faults grow in to the tree, the more I would cut it away for you. So you’ll become straight. And any lumps of bad growth will be small and never reach your heart. If you have too many random little branches, then you’ll never become useful. Even the cutting away of little branches can be painful. If I’m a real friend I will cut them for you. My real friends are few. They are the ones that need to accept me. One cannot harm other people. If you’ve hurt me, I would tell you, that this is not good. But no matter what you do in life, you’ll also always be punished for the mistakes you’ve made. Why is it that you respect your mother the most out of everyone else? I’m not as brave as my mother. My mother would do things I can never do. In those times, in that environment - of the 60s, China was not a bit opened up to the world. Our ways of thinking were purely based on traditional conventional customs. At the time, when my mother and father were still dating, my dad’s brother’s daughter died of starvation. My dad took my cousin in, and other people would gossip about it: “You have an 8 year old at your home and you aren’t even married, and it’s not even your child” sort of thing. Both children of my uncle’s eventually were sent to my mom’s, because after my uncle passed away, his wife remarried, and my mother took in both of their two children. It was difficult enough at the time with us three children under my mother’s wings. Even if you were wealthy, you wouldn’t even be able to buy stamps, because each person was only allocated with 2 Liang (unit of measurement for weight) of oil, etc. under the Communist practice of ration. But my mother would take in two more children, who eventually grew up with us in our home. (So when sometimes) we went to buy vegetables, people would end up starting a fight for food. My mom was petite, but she would walk up and pull the people in arguments apart with her own strength. I would not even attempt that. My mom worked in the bank taking care of accounts and working as a teller. But some people that worked there would think a few cents taken for personal or banks’ use from customers wouldn’t make much difference when they were on the job. My mother would say to them, “That is not right.” In order to prove that a few cents accuracy does matter, she would stand there, keeping count. Those days, people like my mom earned just about 37 Yuan per month of salary. But in a day, she would total ￥80 or more from withholding customers’ change. After she’d gathered enough evidence, she went to speak to management at all the banks and related stores, pointing out that "[Doing things] this way, you would end up eating up lots of money, that is corruption." My mom then asked for lots of coins, and dispatched them to all the branches, making sure that the workers would pick out the exact amount to return it to customers’ accounts. So she not only cared about this, she also made the effort to do the investigation. When it came to China having a policy change and began having democratic elections, my mom won full votes from all staff members, she was the only person that voted for someone else. I can be as righteous as she is. But I cannot do things with as much bravery as she did it. And I feel that my mom is brave because she never thought about herself. I feel, and I fear, that I would always think of myself. I would not be as great a person as my mom is, nor would I be as vigorous at what I do as her. My mother perhaps did not have a life of her own. I think a person like her is worth writing an ode to and shedding tears for, like we would for heroes. And I very much respect mother’s heroism. My mother would often be betting blind, and then she really win the game afterwards. So, kindness, righteousness, courage, seems that I inherited those qualities from my mother. What about your father? My father is really intelligent! Knows how to do anything! Too intelligent! I feel that, in China, probably because of the culture, that there results a distance between the father and the child. Their influence is less than the mother’s on the children. My father is very righteous, and he would never bend his principles under any circumstances. Because of this, he didn’t live a very easy life. He was always doing righteous things. It makes me feel that his EQ is a bit low. Because my mother chopped away all the faulty little branches from me, it is from my mother that I learnt most things in myself, when in fact I’m pretty much a copy of my father. My father never puts his nose in other people’s business. My father at the time was against taking in his brother’s children. Especially when, to him, they were no longer carrying his family name, and that we were really short of food to feed ourselves at the time. My father was rational about things. He would consider all things, which means his kindness must have a sound basis, with reasonable conditions. My mother is really the unconditional kind. She would take on anything and take in anything. Now that I think about it, it is perhaps that my mother had a lot of Chi in her kidneys. Ever invincible, forever victorious. What changed since you moved to New Zealand? There are no essential changes. On the surface, I have more freedom to be myself. Being here gives me an environment where I do not need to worry about other people’s opinions. So externally it’s not the old external self now. Realistically I am still the same within. In China I always lived in the lab. I could quietly be myself in the lab. There were no ‘time for being a mom’, no ‘time for being a wife’. My identity was simply and solely -- a worker. Here I have a household of my own, time of my own disposal. Everyday I play the wife, occasionally the mom. If I have to say anything that has changed, it would all be on the surface level. I just feel freer, I can be myself: At leisure, free, and of myself. If there is anything that has changed, it is that I’m not nearly more than 10% of what I used to earn [back in China as the head of two departments], but, everything I buy brings me more happiness, I’ve learnt to enjoy the simple things more, such as when I’m working in my garden. New Zealand has a good level of tolerance towards the multicultural presence and the values that must follow. It is very important that NZ has such a forbearance, so that NZ can continue to develop. Particularly for a lone island: without immigrants, it is just a lone island. Us immigrants become the bridge for NZ to the rest of the world. Some Kiwis may not have realised that. Despite their mental denial of others’ cultures, they (New Zealanders) would still never utter it out loud. For their careful diplomacy, they never express anything bluntly. Whereas in China, you encounter times where you would become disappointed by the people you love, become depressed because of your own family, (especially) of your parents. Kiwis should feel very lucky, because their parents may never demand something of them that would hurt them. What are your views on early childhood education at home? I have given my child freedom, ever since I became a mother, I’ve given my child opportunities to make independent choices. I would list out the possible outcomes from each option, but I had never imposed anything on my child, which pretty much makes my child the luckiest child of China. I would have hopes, I would express myself, but I would never impose anything, nor had I ever forced anything. Everyone goes through a stage where others try to stop you from making mistakes while you would always think you’re right. Every parent is like that. [Another thing to teach a child is that] One would always work hard at making a good living when they do so for their family. You mustn’t lower your benchmark. You must always learn to feel a sense of pride for your family. It is only when you feel pride for your family would you find the deep motivation. If you only work on being yourself, then you’ll cease sooner in your efforts. When I work on how to be a better person, I often think of my mother. I want to be a person greater than my mother. In the Chinese language, [the word] reflects the culture -- with the example of the word “country”, it’s made up of 2 words - nation and family -- only when they’re together do they make a “country”. When we’re in conflict with foreigners, we become the nation; when we’re living our lives for ourselves, it is all about being a ‘family’. The only time when China began to become weak as a country was at the start of the Yuan Dynasty. When the Mongolians begun holding sovereignty over us, that’s when we began thinking of China as a nation. [For this reason and philosophy,] In the few thousand years’ of human civilisation, China had always been the most prosperous. Our family is a long line of scholars and gentle-folks. We always, forever, think of home. Therefore every person’s life is lived for the honor of the family. For the Face. Even up until now, whatever the Chinese people do they still do it for the Face, for the honor of the family name. Us Chinese like to speak of Honoring the ancestors and shining upon the forbearers. Only when you think of honoring the predecessors would you never dare to slack off in life. In actuality, everyone thinks of themselves. But as long as my mother and father are present, I would never stop doing this and that. Their standards are high, that my home must be like this or like that. Having participated in others’ funerals, I’ve found that in New Zealand, there are many big families, therefore the sense of the family and the values that follow are heavily present. Many Chinese these days no longer carry the sense of the family. When those that go trace their family tree, their ideas about themselves would never be the same. Really, the core of many cultures are one and the same. The longer I live in New Zealand the more I see how similar to China it is . It’s like the difference between the white onion and red onion. The first layer of the onion skin might be dry and drab, and you can’t see the actual onion on the inside from this layer. But the further you peel, the deeper you dig, the more you’ll discover the onion’s sweetness. So really, there are very few differences [between China and New Zealand] despite being different kinds of onions. The onion is spicy on the outside, but the further you peel into the onion, the more you’ll realise that the center is sweet [for any onion, ie between any culture]. In fact, it is because of the difference of their locations, of their religions, that they developed different cultures. Cultures are but a few kinds. Their central cores, the innermost cores are but one and the same. Because man wants to be endowed with what’s beneficial and avoid the bad, so any kind of culture is always going to be kindness-oriented. You may seem different on the surface, but onions will always be onions. The degree of hardness or softness varies between cultures. Muslims would commit to suicide bombs; while Chinese never would [committ such violence]. To be fair, a fundamental key to the reason for European and Oriental cultures to be what they are is due to the density of human population. Because you've always gotta consider for others. Because we inhabit a huge dry land, therefore we have always had to engage with other histories of other cultures. Then you most definitely learn to accept and tolerate others. The more you have seen from experience, the less you’ll feel anything as strange or unfamiliar. You’d never alienate anything, nor would you feel anything to be peculiar. I know that I do not know, therefore you know better that there is so much you do not know still. Is there anything you would like to see changes made in China or NZ? I wish for nothing to change. It’s all fair and well. I believe culture is a thing that, to be honest, is self-selecting and has its own sifting process. There is a kind of inheritability. And naturally, the bad will be selected out and sifted away. I feel it will take its natural course. Because there are so much in the Chinese culture, there is thus too much under-appreciation. Such as the cultures of the minority ethnicity groups. People might feel it’s too provincial, even peculiar, but I hope they will continue to thrive and remain here. I feel I do not need to take any responsibility for the cultures of the West. And I do not claim to know them so well, either. If I must hope for something, for Wellington, it is for Wellington to maintain its tolerance for cultural diversity. This is largely to do with every immigrant. If you do not show the best of your culture, then in many things, Chinese already lost a lot of respect [from the people in New Zealand]. Therefore Chinese will not be as well received. [They] are loathe-worthy. Everyone must take on the duty of doing in one’s best ability to exhibit the best of one’s cultural tradition. In New Zealand, people do not show what they really feel, in fact that can be quite loathsome. For example, us Chinese people are very direct, and will tell you what they feel straight-away. Western people may be laughing at you in their hearts, and you stay all silly. It’s really very vain. You do not benefit me by not telling me how you feel, and in the long term, you do not benefit yourself from it. Another good example: is the way Chinese people greet each other, it’s just a simple "Good to see you", and then we go on being busy with lives. Western people would say, “How are you?” [as a question] You may say it without wanting to hear an answer to the question, as if you’ve really cared about that person or something. People [may choose to] deal with me on the surface level, that has nothing to do with me. I dislike that they act all cordially in order to show how high and superior they are. They would say, ‘Ah you’ve done this and that and that very well, but then you know, you’ve done that and this not so well...” Ah! Such a waste of time! One is one, two is two, what’s the point of dragging on with all the fuss about being polite and all! Why is New Zealand so fallen behind in terms of progress? The only good thing that could come out of this is, people live a leisurely life. Leisure is the most luxurious thing in this world. This is a matter of capacity of the mind and of the heart. When it comes to the really big matters, Chinese people are very euphemistic and rounded. Population is too dense, people need to be direct with everyday little things. A popular saying online goes like this: There flows 5 words in the sky, that is not at all a big deal. Even horses of the heavens [phonetic slang in Chinese for ‘anything’] are just floating clouds. Westerners deem forms over function too much, Chinese people deem outcomes very highly. That this thing needs to turn out leaving everyone feeling good. In China, severe earthquakes hit Sichuan [in 2008, just a few months away from the start of Beijing Olympics], [the central government of China ordered for] this province to go help this city, and that province to provide funds for that city: In 2 years' time, all victims from the earthquakes have moved into new houses. Here, in Christchurch, how many years has it been now? People are still troubled by lack of proper housing. China is all about [meeting a] deadline. [When it comes to governmental decision making} [As the central government, I am going to] give you 3 months, within these 3 months, say all you want to say, after this 3 month period, I’m going to have nothing to do with you, because I’m going to start working on implementing the issue. [Whereas in New Zealand, ] simply by having unlimited endless democratic discussions, how are you going to make progress? I’m really reminiscent of China’s [system of] democracy-first, collective decision-making second. Without centralization, there will be no actions. And there will Never ever be progress. If you spend every day asking each other, "what do you think about this?" "what do you say about that?" what is the use of a government? You need to have a person to hammer the gavel. Here, there is not a real leader, here, there is a government, everyday it’s either this or that. Whereas centralisation is not the same as authoritarianism. That is why us Chinese people go democracy first, centralization after. Centralisation of decision-making is a way of reaching a conclusion. First, ask the common folks, let the people make claims on what they want the government to address; then,find the best experts for a democratic purpose. Chinese don’t like to be framed by professional judgements, so people’s voices need to come first. Professionals are employed for making evaluations. What the professional can offer is what is called "providing advice to the government"; what the people contribute is called "offering opinions and suggestions"; The final decision making is left for the government. The thing that disappoints me the most is that, since coming to New Zealand, I’ve liked all things, except when it comes to this matter of infrastructure reconstruction in Christchurch, too slow! [It is just too] painful to think of. For such a beautiful city to have so many years of delay, is the incapability of the government. Chinese people like to see the final outcome, and it is the outcome that is demanded by the people! Otherwise, why would all the people of China keep having “Thankful to the government” on the tip of their tongues? It’s because the government has gotten something done [for them]. You see anything worth feeling thankful for towards the NZ government? I feel their sense of belonging is not as strong as that of Chinese people. Chinese people would sing: “Five Starred flag, I feel proud for you; Five Starred flag, I feel self-pride because of you.” Here, the most that people would support is an -ism of their choice. Often-times, it requires a kind of self-dedication to do a thing right. And Chinese are about the middle-way, that things need to be just right, balanced. For example, why do we call a country a ‘nation-home’? That is because a nation requires people’s devotion. We say ‘faithfulness & filial piety cannot both compromise’. Loyalty to the nation is called faithfulness, the same towards the family is called filial piety. When the country is facing conflict, we would say, “It is every man’s duty [to serve the country at this difficult time], faithfulness and filial piety cannot both compromise.” What you need to give to the country needs to be all about devotion. What you need to give to your family is harmony. Where does harmony come from? It comes from being just right. It’s about achieving balance. It’s very important. Harmony therefore translates as nobility. The most expensive and precious thing is nothing but harmony, that is, peace. Even with harmony, we have many different words and different kinds of harmony -- Harmony-in-serenity, harmony-in-concord, harmony-in-amity, harmony-in-singing. When it comes to politics and the economy, we call it the country. But when poets write about the country, because poets are strong in sensibility, they would refer to the country as “family-nation”. I don’t know if there is this kind of sharp distinction in the English language. I just really like ‘family-nation’. Especially when it’s to do with ‘thousand autumns of hate on behalf of the family-nation’. The thing that hurts you the most is not a result of the nation-family, the thing that would hurt the most is because of the family-nation. I have grown to disregard more and more of the kind of civilisations based on invasion, plunder and war. I used to worship the Western culture. Now I rather like our Chinese culture. Our Chinese culture has a lot of generosity and tolerance. ‘I will receive the ten thousand celestial kingdoms that come to assemble here.” You come to my place, I will accept you. But I will never go to invade your country, and rob you. Our culture is one of peaceful coexistence. This includes our medicine which is all about strengthening, reinforcement, fitness, and not about killing bacteria. And we are very good at self-reflection and introspection. Us Chinese people would feel, your fire has risen up in you, or, evils have attacked you from the outside. If you don’t feel serene, it’s because the fire has risen in your system. Risen fire is nothing but excessive Yang and exhausted Yin. It’s because you don’t accept other people, that’s why you have fire risen in you. So we talk about being gentile and soft. soft as Yin, harmonious as circle. Circles are without sharp angles, and the change is grudual and smooth. In fact, time is the most precious. Time is life’s most fundamental unit. If life is measured by its length, time is its unit; if life’s measured by its width, time is its element. For old farmers in the countryside, life is made of days, his life is the acres of land in sight. But for those who travel here and there, from one country to the next, their life is full of width. Delve deep into ancient civilisations and their history. Without the knowledge of history, one’s life will not have depth. Bacon said, knowledge is power. But he was a foul character. He often betrayed his own ideals. He was too smart. Therefore, he did not have as much wisdom, and was not as faithful or staunch in his principles. Intelligence and wisdom are two different things. Therefore us Chinese people talk about harmonious peace. Chinese people on the other hand are all about the middle-way. Bacon was not balanced. He himself was not a man of greatness. He died because of an experiment. He felt that if chickens were frozen, the bacteria would be killed in the process. He got infected and died from the infection. Did your university studies in organic chemistry shape your worldview somehow? Organic chemistry is very wonderful, very helpful. In life, people are full of leisure. Chemistry is about the ideal state. Categorise, then you can mingle with others. Extract, then you’ll discover dynamic equilibrium. So chemistry has helped with the formation of my worldview and my theories towards life. I feel quite fortunate, especially that I studied organic chemistry. Once you take away the ideal state, analyse its various factors, just the same as when you analyse various aspects of the society. And it is because of this, that when I socialise with other people, I would analyse, I would categorize, and finally come up with an OPT - optimum. I will live the most ideal state of my life. When you’re in the best state of life, you’re a happy person. So I have grasped an ideal perfect state of Chinese culture through an organic chemistry method. Tao is about making the elixir of life. In fact man’s ultimate dream is wealth and an extended life. Therefore to read some more of the Tao concepts, - if you really dig in to the subject - you’ll enter into a Buddha-like state of selflessness. Just like when I enter into the laboratory, I have no concept of time. My colleagues would all be amazed -- that I was completely in a physical shut-off state. I really like that state of being. Every season, I would publish a new color, and I must work on developing and releasing a new color every 3 weeks. The moment I see something, I can devise 80% of the formula in my mind immediately. The colors I develop come from my heart, the paint, the dyes. Once I’m in the lab, I won’t think of anything. I would even forget about my child. I have neither a child, nor a family. I feel very empty, very vast. There is no me, I do not feel my body, I do not have a sense time, I do not have the concept that I have a child, all I have got is my job. I feel like I’m not anywhere in particular, it’s a beautiful feeling. When I first left my parents, I felt very awful. Now I’ve thought it through. [It’s an ancient saying to] advise a person to care for whoever is right in front of you. You must still cherish the people next to you. [It’s about] the people in front of you, and the immediate matters that need taking care of. [That is:] what I have, and what I can do -- not what I cannot do, or someone I cannot reach to. That’d be stupid. After this realisation, I’ve found my balance. Since I cannot do much for my parents, what’s the point of feeling awful. [Plus,] what my mother wants for me is for me to be happy. As long as one has accomplished the life they feel satisfied with, they will naturally be happy. Your satisfaction or fulfilment is possible to achieve but not something to simply want. You need to have the skill. Happiness is not a goal, but should be a state of being. One must set higher and further goals. You don’t necessarily have to achieve the goal, you don’t have to feel satisfaction, but, in the process of the pursuit, I feel happy. That is because, when you do obtain it, you will but feel, this is not much of a big deal after all! So we must aim higher and further. Out of the poets, I really like White Lee (李白), Eastern Slope Soo. But if I would choose one to marry, I would choose Xiu Ou Yang, Wei Wang (he’s a painter, a musician, he lived for a very long time, and he was an interesting character.) I like those who are graceful, refined, and stable. I don’t like those that follow their whims. When I do my job I like to be professional, and responsible. Take ambassador En Lai Zhou (周恩来) for example, because of his sacrifice, his grievances, he secured many lives of the Chinese people. China was then all about the War of the 10 Roads. Zhou was forever in his invincible place, where as Chairman Mao was felled many times over by other people. Kissinger wrote a book called The Leaders, in which he wrote about Zhou, he didn’t care about writing on Chairman Mao. I respect Chairman Mao. He was a man of probity. He was poor once, and would never corrupt a cent of money. And he loved books. I like people who love books. What I love the most is books, but what I cherish the most is kindness and benevolence. But in this world of materialism, books are rather important nonetheless. Because all people care about now is money. [Life’s about] what my heart feels. Feelings are very important to me. My grandfather and my great-grandfather were both wizards. Wizards need to feel for things, to feel for the world, for the people, and the environment. They were the people that were able to make something happen. They healed people’s illness. They would go look for herbs, pick them and make herbal pastes. During morning walks with my father, he would be able to recognise many herbs because of his father and grandfather. My mother’s side of the family had a headmaster, her father, who was prepared for studying abroad in Russia. He didn’t eventually go to university, because he practiced filial piety, as his mother wanted him to get married. My mother’s side of the family had teachers and businessmen. They used to travel to the capital city for business, to bring back the money they made and build houses, to honor the family. But no one knows where they ended up eventually. Back in those days, there were no banks. They were carrying the money they made in actual silver pieces. Speculation goes that they must have been robbed and killed on the road. [My mother’s father --] my grandfather was an early-born of 7 months in the embryo. Chinese people used to say, “Live through 7, but not through 8”. So he was carried in a face wash basin and handed over to some other family to be raised. His adopted mother was married but her husband went to Beijing to do business right after they got married. So she was never able to have a child of her own. Everything in my grandfather’s life had something to do with the number 7. The day my grandfather died, my grandmother stirred up my mother from her sleep and said: “Today there are a lot of 7, there is no chance he would be able to make it through this day. There is some big event that happens every time it hits 7 for your dad: He has 7 children; today is the 7th of the 7th.” My mother quickly went over to see her dad. At 7 minutes past 7a.m., my grandfather died. He was 77 years old. What would you like to say to your family, but never had a chance? Thank you, I'm sorry, and I love you. Because I did not have much chance to pay filial piety to them, I could not help them being here. In this culture of ours, we do not say ‘I love you’. I can accept all things. Some things do not have to be said out loud. Everything else is small things, those are all unimportant. Compared to my sense of guilt and thankfulness, those little things are all unimportant. & Truthfulness. People would sing ode to kindness. But who have sung for truth? People overvalue knowledge, power, even kindness. People lack real appreciation of truthfulness and faithfulness. Truthfulness is neglected by people, faithfulness is not something people want to do/have. People have an over-tolerance for unfaithfulness. This means that they will not cherish faithfulness. What would you advise to the future generations? Have kindness. [Learn about] culture, especially for Oriental culture to be in the West, that would be great. Be faithful to oneself, love nature, be a person of great character. Be a person that will make yourself feel proud of yourself. I hope my offsprings will make their parents proud, and make their own future generations proud, that is - a person of great character, to feel fulfilled by oneself. [Know that] I am minute and small. My power is limited.
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